What Have I Missed? #SOLC Day 26

A reflection of what I missed and how I am finding time for it again…

Photo by Tirachard Kumtanom on Pexels.com

I used to be a runner. Well, if I am going to be honest that is an understatement. I became obsessed with running when I was 35. I blame the Biggest Loser show actually. I used to run 60-80 miles a week. If I ran 10 miles a day, I was a happy girl.

I have always had friends that were runners and I envied them. I wanted to run but wouldn’t start. I had a terrible experience in middle school when I tried to join the track team which honestly kept me from it later in life.

I researched and started. I gave myself a challenge. I would run every day in January that year and at the end of the month if I hated it I would stop. I didn’t stop for 6 years. I ran everything from 5k races to 50 miles. (Yes, you read that correctly.) I ran alone for over 8 months before I found a group run at a local park. I had shit to work out and didn’t want to share that time with anyone.

My first race was a half marathon. I ran a marathon after 11 months of running. This is not the normal way to do things. But I loved it.

I ran at that time of my life too because there was anxiety and depression. I was running away from my life at the time. My brain has connected this anxiety to the running.

I have had several false starts over the last couple of years. I ran last summer and worked up to a 13 mile run just to see if I could do it again. That is how I ended up running 50 miles – a personal challenge to just see if I could do it.

With the virus gifting me the time to read, write, study and realign my life running has come back. I had to deal with some emotional ties to the running because of my past that I DO NOT want to relive.

Today is day 5 of running in a row. I am back again to looking forward to the runs. I have a path outside my door once again since I moved and that makes a huge difference. The air is clean here and there are hills which I love.

It is nice to nurture a new relationship with this part of myself.

I am a runner again.

Published by TammyB

Tammy Breitweiser is a writer and teacher who is a force of nature and woman of honor; seer of nuance; an accidental inspirationalist; a keeper of the little red doors, and a conjurer of everyday magic who is busy writing short stories. Her poetry has been published in The Storyteller Magazine. Her flash fiction in Spelk, Cabinet of Heed, Clover and White, and Elephants Never. Her essay is published in the I Wrote it Anyway anthology. You can also connect with Tammy through Twitter @Tlbreit

4 thoughts on “What Have I Missed? #SOLC Day 26

  1. Now that the temps are rising and the ice and snow are melting I may start back up myself. Thanks for this encouraging ‘nudge’! I’m hoping we all can rediscover or discover some passions and pleasures with this time we are given. KUDOS!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love that you have rediscovered running during this time! Perhaps the change of scenery due to your move will help with making new memories for this part of your running journey. Yes, you are indeed a “runner again!”

    Liked by 1 person

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